Founder Loneliness: The Quiet Problem No One Talks About
Last night I went to a concert.
It was the Crabapple Market Summer Concert Series here in Milton, Georgia, an outdoor show on the green, the kind where everyone brings chairs and the whole town shows up. The band was AudioVault, a tribute band that plays all the 80s and 90s songs you forgot you loved, and they were so good.
Some friends came who we used to know from our baseball days. Her husband and mine are still close, and they do poker nights and play golf together. I don't know her as well, but we ended up standing together for most of the night, just talking.
And somewhere in the middle of that conversation, she told me something that stuck with me all day.
She said she's lonely.
The Conversation I Can't Stop Thinking About
She's 41, she works full time in a demanding job, and she told me she can't find people she can actually have a real conversation with. Most of the people around her, in her neighborhood, don't work, so when she talks about her day, her ambition, the things on her mind, it just doesn't land. They can't relate to where she is or what she's carrying.
She wasn't complaining, she was just being honest. And you could tell she was looking for something, some kind of outlet, people who actually get it.
Here's the thing, though. I hear some version of this all the time, and honestly, I feel it myself.
When you're building something, whether it's a career or a business, you can be surrounded by people and still feel alone. The people in your everyday life love you, but they don't always understand the work, and they can't really talk shop with you. They don't know what it feels like to lie awake thinking about a launch, or a hire, or a number that isn't where you want it to be.
And success doesn't fix this. If anything, it can make it worse, because the further you go, the fewer people around you are walking the same road.
So I Told Her About My Weird Hermits
That's the name of a small group I'm in. A mastermind, but that word makes it sound more formal than it is. Really it's a handful of people who run businesses and who decided to do this thing together.
We're all remote, scattered all over the place. There's one in the UK, one in New York, one in Chicago, one in Seattle, two in Texas, one in Florida, and two of us here in Atlanta. So no, you don't have to live near each other for this to work.
We meet every week, virtually, on a call, the same way you'd grab coffee with a friend if you lived in the same town. And then a couple of times a year, we actually get together in person.
We talk about our businesses, of course, the strategy and the problems and the decisions we're stuck on. But we also just talk, about our families and our wins and the hard weeks, the stuff you can't really say out loud to people who don't get it.
And I told her the truth, that it's been one of the best things I've done, not just for my business but for me. It fills my cup back up.
When I finished telling her about it, she looked at me and said something I won't forget.
"That is exactly what I'm looking for. That is exactly what I'm missing in my life."
— A friend, at a concert, last nightWhy the Right Room Changes Everything
I've thought about that conversation all day, because she isn't unusual at all. If anything, she's the rule, not the exception.
A lot of smart, driven people are quietly missing this exact thing, a place where they can take the mask off and talk to people who are on the same path.
But I want to be clear about one thing. It's not just about getting a group of people together, because the group itself has to be the right one.
The reason Weird Hermits works is that it was put together on purpose, with the right people, the kind who show up and who are generous and honest and actually like each other. You can't fake that and you can't force it, you have to build it slowly.
And a group of the wrong people is honestly worse than no group at all. We've all been in those rooms, the ones that drain you instead of filling you up, where you walk away feeling smaller instead of bigger. That's not what this is.
You can't invite people to a party at a house you haven't built yet. The room has to be made on purpose, with the right people in it. That's the part most people skip, and it's the part that matters most.
So Let Me Ask You the Same Thing I Was Thinking
While I stood on that green last night, here's the question that kept running through my head, and it's the same one I want to ask you. Is this a void in your life right now, or in your business?
Be honest with yourself. Do you have people you can really talk to about the work, people who get it, who are building something too, who you can call on a hard week and celebrate with on a good one?
And if the answer is no, you're not behind and you're not doing anything wrong. Most people don't have this, because it's just not something that happens by accident. Somebody has to actually build it.
That's What I'm Building Right Now
I'm curating a room for creators and founders, and it's called the Creator's MBA Council. I'm building it the same way I built my own Weird Hermits, on purpose and with the right people, as a founding cohort that I'm keeping small so it actually feels like a room and not a crowd.
This is the thing my friend at the concert was describing without having a name for it. People who get it, real conversations, and a room that fills your cup instead of draining it.
If that sounds like the thing you've been missing, I'd love for you to take a look at what's inside the Council and tell me if it's for you.
And if you're not ready to decide, or you just want to hear more about what this is and why I'm building it, I made a private podcast called Inside the Council. It's a quieter way to get a feel for the room before you ever raise your hand. You can sign up for the private podcast here and the episodes come straight to your favorite podcast app.
The woman I talked to last night is going to be okay. We're going to stay in touch, and I gave her some ideas. But the bigger thing she reminded me of is that the work is just better when you're not doing it alone, and the room you're in matters more than almost anything else.
So if you've been feeling that quiet kind of lonely, the kind that doesn't show up on the outside, consider this your nudge to do something about it. Don't wait around for it to happen on its own. Go build the room yourself, or come join the one I'm building.
You shouldn't have to build this alone.
A curated room for creators and founders who want real conversations with people who actually get the work, kept small on purpose. Come see if it's the thing you've been missing.
See What's Inside the Council →Frequently Asked Questions
Because the people in your everyday life often can't relate to the work. They love you, but they don't know what it feels like to carry a business. The further you go, the fewer people around you are on the same road, so you can be surrounded by people and still feel alone.
No. My own peer group is fully remote, with members in the UK, New York, Chicago, Seattle, Texas, Florida, and Atlanta. We meet every week on a call and get together in person a couple of times a year. Distance is not the thing that makes it work.
A big group of strangers is not the same as a small room of the right people. A curated group is built on purpose, with people who show up, who are honest and generous, and who are on the same path. The wrong group drains you. The right one fills your cup.
The Council is a curated room for creators and founders, built the same way I built my own peer group. It is a founding cohort, kept small on purpose, so it feels like a real room and not a crowd. It is for people who want real conversations with others who get the work.
Inside the Council is a private podcast where I share what the Council is and why I am building it. It is a quieter way to get a feel for the room before you ever decide to join. You sign up once and the episodes come straight to your favorite podcast app.
